25 june 2012~monday
During the night, I felt Dave violently shaking. He was so cold. I heard the bath water running. He couldn’t sleep, or he was very sick…sleep came in and out. At 5, I felt his feverish body climb into bed next to me…I took his temperature. 104.6…then 104.8…My sweet nanny arrived…the kids and I decided to stay home from Language school, a friend took Ella (our motivated Amharic girl)–our house helpers came…the house was full and moving, except for sweet dave. My neighbor–a nurse of many years, gave wisdom…my nanny and house helpers–godly, precious women, all encouraged me to take Dave and not take any of the children clinging to my body….it was a bit of a dramatic exit as we hopped into a taxi that was already here waiting to go to the Swedish Clinic. I could see God orchestrating and caring for every concern I had. I wanted to pick up my phone and call home…I wanted a friend…so I prayed. Really hard. All morning. We were in the clinic for 3 hours, waiting. There is a different kind of lonely when you are overseas and sick…or with someone who is sick. It presses you closer to Jesus. Dave went in and out of sleep…his fever continued to rage. CBC…clear. Malaria test, negative. All brought praise and soon relief, but why this fever? What is it? Just a virus? Dave moans in pain while he sleeps…i can feel his heart racing and his temperature rise and fall. We take a taxi the 25 minutes home…the smells and roads are almost too much. We make it home…Evie and Riah have decorated our entire living room with popcorn that Tsaga is now sweeping up…4 loaves of fresh bread greet my senses as I walk in the kitchen…the kids are happy…Tsaga kisses me…Meheret and Wainshot kiss me many times…they could see my concern. I love these precious sisters. Tsaga asks if she can make dinner…yes, thank you. I try to connect with the kids, recover our home, take care of my sick husband and take a deep breath. Only IN HIS strength. Dave has fallen in to his bed and is already breathing heavy…I try and take kids and noise outside. My neighbor meets me outside. Dave calls me in…his fever spikes to 106. I pray harder. For the first time today, I feel afraid. I don’t know what to do with this number…I go and ask for wisdom. My friend tells me what I should do, gives me Tylenol. “Let’s pray now,” she says.
We kneel under a big tree…in damp grass and pray, in faith. Heal us. Increase our Faith.
I walk in…as we prayed, God broke Dave’s fever. He is damp and I am feeling a bit too giddy about a 104 fever. But He is good. Dave starts having symptoms! I thank God again for things I’ve probably never thanked Him for before. I call the Dr. and ask his wisdom…he says now it is okay to start an antibiotic. We do.
We eat a delicious dinner from Tsega..the kids eat up…I can’t quite stomach it…start feeling chills and pain in my stomach. I begin asking God to strengthen me so I can continue to care for Dave. Protection for the kids. They run out and play so happily after the rains and full bellies…thank you Father, for a little break…and a little joy for them. I sit and try to breathe deep and pray. Listen to Dave’s deep, quick breathing.
I call the tribe in to wash up and head to bed….Dave is in a warm bath…I am washing dirty toes, brushing teeth…praying. Sweet kids are loving their daddy and loving the feet washing. I step into a room to put pjs on the kids, leaving a big bucket of water in the hall…I hear Dave walk and then crash to the floor–water and husband are flying. He lands hard. I catch his head somehow….he is sweating and lays on the floor for awhile trying to gain strength while my little girls use many towels to sop up the puddles all around Daddy. This was a scary site…my husband lying in the middle of the floor–trying not to throw up and trying to gain enough strength to stand. It is all humility…we are brought lower in many many ways…this one, a bit painfully. Finally he made it to the couch–fell fast asleep. I tucked the kids in. We read and prayed for Daddy. They asked lots of questions…we talked of the bigness of our God. Kisses and hugs and prayers. It is so quiet and lonely now…The deep gasps for air from Dave are not a sweet companion. I feel my body fighting against illness…but I now feel warmth–hope and a sweet assurance of Grace-here.
Jesus, be in this place…be victorious over all illness, all darkness, all pain. Bring light and healing on your Wings in the morning. Give rest and peace to the ones you love tonight.
I go to sleep worshiping to these words…the cry of my heart to my Healer. It’s all I know to do.
“You hold my every moment,
You calm my raging sea,
You walk with me through fire…
Heal my disease.
I TRUST IN YOU.
I TRUST IN YOU.
I believe you’re my Healer.
I believe you’re all I need.
I believe you’re my portion.
I believe you’re more than enough for me,
Jesus, you’re all I need.” ~ Kari Jobe