I stink at resting…some how through poor discipline, fatigue or whatever else I’ve managed to spend a lot of my life embracing in the false reality that busy-ness equals usefulness or even value to God. (Quite ironic when you think about as even my five year old Maija will easily tell you that if Christ was anything…it was never busy.) Since moving here, we as a family have done very well. The transitions have been far more smooth than imagined. The kids feel secure, they are seeing creation in a new light and we are enjoying it through their unblemished eyes. I’ve also seen how the Lord has prepared us in so many unseen ways through relationships, work, moves, cultural experiences, living abroad etc. All that to say, I know we are still definitely in the honeymoon phase, however I’m thoroughly enjoying it. But I’ve also felt a good amount of stress and it’s hasn’t come from anything of substance. Since arriving I/we haven’t wanted for security, food, shelter, relationships, money, even comforts have abounded. Instead, I think due to my need to feel purpose in this completely new phase of life I’ve subconsciously retreated back to my busy mode–creating checklists of lesser things while my kids have played alone, staying up to get things “set up” instead of just resting or processing the day or this new land.
So back to the point…I’m not good at resting. Well, the Lord decided to put a stop to that this week. I’ll spare you all the details but Monday I spiked a fever to 106. It was less than ideal. But in His Grace…I stopped…in fact I rested, mildly delirious rest, but still rest :). And in those moments I re-learned what He (and Julie) have patiently and sweetly long whispered into my heart. “Rest…Rest…Rest in Me. Rest in Me the one who restores you. Your value is found in Me…Me alone. ”
Then His word spoke:
12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
15 All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16 Only let us live up to what we have already attained. Philippians 3:12–16
This one thing I do….one thing…hold true to what I have already attained…what He has already attained for me.
So now I Rest.
Rest in the joyfully simple life I’m privileged to live. Rest with unveiled eyes to see how treasured I am. I am restored—no more striving for value but resting in the reality that my value was determined when my sweet Savior purchased me.
Thank you for stopping me, Dad.